What Would You Do?
A little note on Andor
I watched the last few episodes of Andor this week and I loved them so, so much. It’s not groundbreaking to say that it is some of the best Star Wars stuff since the original trilogy because it is the least Star Wars since Star Wars. I disagree somewhat with this take: it has spaceships, and grimy bars, and bad guys, and good guys, and while it has no space wizards, its main theme is that people can fight back if they have hope, which is all what the OG Star Wars is about. That said, I won’t spend the rest of this entry talking about why I like a kind of Star Wars show and not another because I am deeply aware that I like the Star Wars movie that so many people hated so much that it literally destroyed the internet and, one could argue, the world. What I’m saying is, the Venn diagram between online chuds who hate The Last Jedi and who like Trump is a circle.
What I was interested in, is that as much as I love Andor, it lives because of Hollywood IP mania in the same world where the rest of Star Wars lives. And the rest of Star Wars is VERY, VERY silly. So, as our world looks more and more like the authoritarian nightmare cooked up by Tony Gilroy in Andor, I have found myself asking myself: what would I do in that situation? What would any of us do in the midst of authoritarian oppression so revolting, but so overwhelming? As Nemik says:
So here’s a list of things I think I would do if I lived in Andor, keeping in mind that it’s the same world as the rest of Star Wars:
Rebellion pilot: this is the one I want to say I would do, but I very clearly need glasses and I don’t think they would take me. Could they make prescription Rebel pilot helmets?
Talk to my co-workers about maybe staging an intervention for our coworker who clearly has a podrace gambling addiction.
First human member of a Jizz band like Fig’rin Dan and the Modal Nodes. Yes, the music the Star Wars cantina band plays is called Jizz. Disney has tried to retcon it to say that they play Jizz and Jatz, but we all know it’s Jizz. Jizz forever.
Work as some sort of nerd for the Empire, but secretly feed information to the Rebellion until I get caught and killed mercilessly by a KX droid.
Little guy who sells wares in some sort of desert planet. I bet I would speak fluent Huttese.
Work as a server at Dexter Jettster’s inexplicably 1950s-style diner. I know his workers are mostly robots, but I feel like I could get a job there.
Senate aide to a rebelling Senator. I would crush these little fancy outfits.
Jabba’s palace intern.
Naboo enjoyer. (I just think I’d have a good time)
Guest who’s like “yikes, this whole ceremony’s kinda weird” at Mon Mothma’s daughter’s orthodox wedding, but I’m being kinda loud and my wife has to nudge me and is kind of embarrassed.
Director trying to make a Behind the Music documentary about Max Rebo’s Band.
Guy who complains about the heat in Tattooine but is like “but at least it’s not humid.”
Guy who has to explain to his parents that “I understand you guys were alive during the Clone Wars, but saying that kind of things about droids is kinda racist.”
Menswear Guy but about Ghorman fashion.
Guy who gets killed by Andor.
Guy who gets killed at a farm.
Guy who gets killed at a Rebel base.
Guy who gets killed at an Imperial base.
Guy who gets killed by the Death Star.
Guy who gets killed by Vader.
Guy who doesn’t get killed by Vader, but no one believes him when he’s telling his friends at the cantina.
Okay, that’s it for this week. As always…
In two weeks, I’ll be in Miami talking about my book at the Books and Books in Coral Gables. I’m planning some more book events in the summer, so stay tuned! Subscribe now to stay tuned about those!