I Want To Talk About Shakira

This is not hyperbole

Shakira is the most important Colombian on the planet. I know, I know. It’s a big surprise that it’s not me. I’m not exaggerating here and I don’t think anyone can dispute it. There are plenty of very important Colombians in many fields, Sofía Vergara in TV, John Leguizamo in film, Doris Salcedo in the world of capital A Art, Egan Bernal in cycling, James Rodríguez in soccer, Felipe Torres Medina in writing every two months on his newsletter, and Judge Aileen Cannon in the field of obstructing justice until you let a criminal scot free so he can become president and destroy the Republic. And the list goes on. However, ask anyone around the world if they can name one that isn’t a drug dealer who died over thirty years ago, and they can’t. Except for one: Shakira.

Growing up in Colombia in the late 90s/00s (I’m a young millennial, a younglennial, if you will) was a tough time. Escobar (the one guy you can name!) had just died, but cartel violence was still a very prominent thing. And also there were these left wing guerrilla groups that saw the vacuum left by the big cartels and said, “hey, what if we did drug trade?” and eventually became cartels. Just like Lenin would’ve wanted! Oh, and there was also the right-wing paramilitary militias partially funded by the CIA. Who also were like “what if we did drug trade?” Just like Eisenhower would’ve wanted! Look, it’s a complicated nation when the Wikipedia page about famous people from your country has a

“Criminals” section and a

“Left-wing terrorists” section.

But amidst all that, we were a country trying to come out of some of its darkest and most violent times. And I sincerely think a teenage girl helped save us. Here she is performing what is still my favorite of her songs “Pies descalzos, sueños blancos”:

I’m not gonna list all the OG Shakira songs everyone should know because they are absolute bangers, but if she’d only resealed her two Spanish-language albums, Pies descalzos and ¿Dónde están los ladrones? She would still be one of the most interesting artists of the 90s. The release of those two albums actually gave Colombia something to talk about and root for in the 90s. Everyone knew who this teenager was. She was incredible: her music had a strong rock and roll influence, her voice was deep and light at the same time, and her name was a testament to the heritage of Lebanese immigrants in Colombia. Also, she invented computers!

A few years later, she did what most Latin artists simply cannot do: she crossed over. And she did. Now, I still prefer the lyrics to Suerte over Whenever, Wherever, but Whenever, Wherever made Shakira unstoppable. She was everything Colombians already knew she was. But now she was blonde. She got a lot of flack from Colombians for it. The sort of “you think you’re better than us” flack you get when you try to go further. The sort of flack you dish out when you are insecure. And how could we not be an insecure nation? Remember the Wikipedia article? But that didn’t matter. America, and the world could simply not resist. Everyone knows what comes after that; Hips Don’t Lie, Waka Waka, the soundtrack to Zootopia where she plays a gazelle, a horny song every year with the new sexy latin boy du jour, getting accused of tax fraud in Spain (give us our gold back,) and the incredible saga of her soccer husband cheating on her that culminates in the greatest diss track of all time until Kendrick decided Drake needed to be put down.

Shakira is now a global phenomenon and the first thing many people in the world think about when they think about Colombia. Many people. Not Trevor Noah, but many people. Hey, what would he know about coming from a country with a complicated past?

This week, Shakira is performing her Las mujeres ya no lloran tour in Colombia, and the homecoming has been a phenomenon. I’m jealous of the thousands of Colombians who got to go see her. My friend, Colombian journalist Daniel Ruge, recently saw her show in Miami and argues it should be every Colombian’s fundamental right to see Shakira live. It’s hard to look at the videos of Shakira’s shows and not agree. Colombians love Shakira because she made us more than narcos and Narcos. Not to be corny on main, but she’s proof that art matters! And that pop music matters. That you can come from a nation with a complicated history and riddled with violence and become a global superstar, but that also, in doing so, you can turn that nation with a complicated history into a joyful land that deserves to be celebrated.

Gracias, Shak.

Also! Since we now agree that art matters and it can change minds! Here’s when I plug my book. It comes out in less than two weeks!

If you’re in New York, you can also come see me at the book launch!

And if you’re in Kansas City, I’ll be there on 3/20 for a comedy show/book event!

You can pre-order the book from wherever you buy your books, but if you pre-order from here, I will sign it and personalize it for you.

Okay, that’s it. If there’s any typos, no there arent.